Sometimes we feel a gap between our words and our emotions.
It brings a certain frustration that our words fail to express our emotions.
Once “word” comes in, “emotion” loses its freshness and vividness, and turns into boring, mediocre, worthless trash.
Fancy and dreamy character of “emotion” are immediately killed by shabby and mediocre character of “word”.
Although “emotion” is formless, limitless and aimless, “word” gives “emotion” a frame, a direction, an aim and a meaning. And innocence and purity of “emotion” are completely taken away.
This is a danger of “word”.
Once “emotion” is translated into “word” and expressed, this “expressed emotion” is no longer pure “emotion” but mere vulgar, despicable residue.
We should be careful with this nasty nature of “word”.
Simply put, “word” belongs to brain activity, while “emotion” belongs to mind activity.
In other words, “word” is related to our rationality, while “emotion” is related to our irrationality.
From this perspective, it must be obvious that how illogical it is to deal with “emotion” with “word”. These are two totally different matters and we should not mix them up.
I often wonder why it is necessary to express “emotion” with “word”?
Is it impossible to leave “emotion” alone and keep it formless, limitless and aimless?
Probably, in practise, it’s difficult to do so, and that’s why we use “word”, and try to pin “emotion” with “word”, try to attach “emotion” to reality, for example, by writing a daily or talking to people.
But, this also means that frustration I mentioned in the beginning still remains the same.
When facing this difficult relationship between “word” and “emotion”, I always remember the below sentences from Mishima’s novel.
“Briefly Honda told her what had happened, but he was disgusted to be speaking like a defense lawyer. He could not escape the habit of describing logically, inductively, even in this matter of such burning urgency. His words were useful only for arranging events into some sort of order, although he had wanted to appeal to her by wordless, senseless screams for help. ” ー Yukio Mishima ‘The Temple of Dawn’
Honda, a lawyer, cannot stop using his rationality.
Even when he wants to scream his illogical “emotion”, still he cannot stop making it logical, arranging it in order, treating irrationality with rationality, and he fails to express what he originally wants to express.
It’s easy to laugh at him.
But it seems to me that similar things happen everywhere nowadays.
In this modern days, we are always encouraged to think logically, to act ralitionaly.
We are always forced to analyse, interpret things, and to extract some sort of consistency from it.
This morbid obsession and over-trust with “logic”, “rationality” and “consistency” must be a source of intolerance, narrow-mindness and boredom we feel everyday.
In other book, “Sun and Steel”, Mishima writes, “Words was invented to bring order to the chaos of the world”.
It means, a core function of “word” is giving a name to each objects in this world, and giving a name means providing shape and weight to shapeless, unattached object, that is “emotion”.
By this, “emotion”, that keeps drifting, just like a leaf on the ocean, gets the anchor in one place and become visible to everyone and get ready to be used by us.
But, what a boring process it is.
What a despicable function “word” has.
“Word” merely degrades “emotion”.
While “emotion” is like an innocent wild animal which runs around with full of aimless passion, “word” is like a cunning, sly, despicable hunter who eagerly chases the animal with a vulgar weapon.
I feel each “word” are like each spermatozoon which pollutes a virgin girl. And such polluted “emotion” with “word” is apparently dirty, miserable, and abject.
How to avoid this pollution from “word” and keep innocence, purity and virginity of “emotion”?
This is the question I’ve been thinking for a long time.
This must be the key to solve the gap between “word” and “emotion”.